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You want to pick one, right?
The notion that you could feel two intense, strong, heavy emotions at one time feels overwhelming or maybe even wrong? Confusing?
How is it that you could be in the middle of a blessing you’ve prayed for and somehow sad that you’re no longer in the valley intimately yearning for Him to provide?
Though your hands wanted to hold the blessing, your heart became fully aware of the reward that is being tucked into Him.
How is it that you could feel so wonderfully happy for someone else’s open door and wildly sad that it’s not happening for you?
It does not dampen your celebration that the answering of their prayer makes you yearn for your own even more.
How is it that you could feel incredible compassion for a person or situation and yet frustrated that you’re in this place of requiring more patience than you planned for?
Your flesh feels the sting of its own selfishness while your spirit reminds you of the mission. . .
It is BOTH/AND.
This is most of life, isn’t it?
To feel so very thankful for the blessing of the roles you’ve been given and a little guilty that you feel exhausted by holding all the goodness.
This originated in the garden—when earth became infected with the existence of sin and separation with the Father entered the picture.
When this happened, the human heart stepped into the greatest dichotomy it will ever know, thus creating the tension point for all other human emotion: How do I live HERE when I know I was made for THERE?
How do I walk by the spirit when my flesh is so loud?
However, both are necessary.
Here provides the preparation for there—the power to invite others into relationship with the only One who lasts forever.
And the flesh is the casing that makes you realize the grace you’ve been given + the war that’s for your soul…it is in the battle between knowing what you feel + see and what is true + unseen that provides the very foundation + existence of faith.
Embrace both.
Sit in both.
Welcome both.
Be aware of both.
AND THEN, the Holy Spirit will help you know what requires your attention in each moment.
Your heart isn’t confused...it is just walking through a place that knows it isn’t home.
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