He's not withholding good.

There had been so much change and adaptation asked of him…and on top of that, he was now being pushed in ways that he had never been pushed in before.
I could feel his eyes staring deeply at me and his hand extended for me to save him from the hardness of the task at hand.
He knew that I could reach out and grab him and it broke my heart to feel his confusion behind my decision.
My decision to let him stay.
To remain in the tension…
And not just to remain but to sit and watch and smile at him, knowing it didn’t feel good but I trusted what was to come.
But the longer he endured and the more he continued to show up and power through what he wanted to be saved from, the more he knew it was true, too.
This unfamiliarity, discomfort, + stretching of his muscles was STRENGTHENING him in a way he didn’t understand.
The tears still came when new things knocked or his exhaustion kicked in, convincing him that his limitation outweighed his capability.
But Sledge’s instructor knew—he was made for this battle!
Eventually, he stopped reaching out + he dug deep to endure. Though that stabbed me a little, I knew he would understand one day…that love sometimes feels like pain to the giver + the receiver…until the fruit is realized + both realize there was no other way. This was necessary.

As I thought about Sledge ‘s therapy, I realized how much it reminded me of my own life.
“JESUS, YOU COULD SNAP YOUR FINGERS AND FIX THIS! WHY AREN’T YOU?”, my spirit screams.
And His response humbles me. It helps me see that the story of rescue often looks like the training ground of showing up and trusting God to sustain you through what you’d rather avoid or pray away.
Because if the Father always swept us up, we wouldn’t ever know that the strength of the Holy Spirit inside of us allows us to stand amidst storms, take steps on shaky ground, + believe for healing despite the hurt + heaviness of the present.

Now, before therapy, I whisper in Sledge’s ear: “Sledge, you were made for this buddy. Mommy loves you more than anything but Jesus loves you more than everyone so you’re ready. You’ve always been. Now let’s have FUN!”

He hasn’t left you.
He’s not withholding good.
Keep going 💪🏻