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It was as palpable as the pen I was holding in my hand…how could I feel two different emotions so strongly in the same moment? Both felt equally important to address, though I knew one would drive my steps forward + the other wanted me to stay with my feet planted right where I was, like cement that would keep things from changing.
How is it that we both crave change + yearn for some things to always be the same?
How is it that in the same moment when He infuses courage inside of us, the deepest corner of our soul clamors for attention as it whispers, “I think I’m still afraid.”?
How is that we can be so excited and so expectant for what lies ahead, while feeling so confused by our own sadness that this one is almost over?
But think about it…isn’t it the presence of both emotions that awakens your soul and opens your heart to holding the present with such gratitude? Isn’t it the existence of both ends of the spectrum that make you aware of how each one feels?
Whether it be your child moving from one stage of life to another,
Whether it be your job that shifts in necessary ways to make room for growth but forces dynamics and logistics to alter what’s always been,
Whether it be the passing of a life that you know clung to joy as they were so ready to go permanently home but the ache still leaves you feeling ripped open,
Whether it be the celebration of another’s milestone/answered prayer that spurs your faith and helps you witness miracles, while also leaving a little lump in your throat as you ask the Father, “Do you see me, too?”,
Whatever it may be...the hard and the good are often interlaced in the same moment, giving breath to each other + helping you see all of it.
Because if life was only a series of moments that you prefer, how would you even know your preference? How would you grow or know gratitude?
So, as we experience life and as we navigate seasons, may we understand that when one shows up, it doesn’t take away the richness of the other—it seals it. It fertilizes it. It reminds us that life is fragile but our foundation is sure.
The great polarity of Heaven and earth—it is the stark contrast needed so that we know the difference of being HOME.
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